Already Left
by Psychic Prince
Summary: My painful love, I'm hurting as if I cut my skin. I try to hold it in, but soundlessly, it hurts. My aching love, it's bitter as if I swallowed poison... I try to smile, but I'm faintly aching... I extend my hand to hold her, but at some point, she already left me. One sided YukixTohru. KyoxTohru. Warning: Character death.


**Hi! I'm Psychic Prince! I'm more well-known in the _Super Smash Bros _archive... This is my first ever _Fruits Basket _fanfic, and I'm excited to finally write my first fanfic about my favorite anime! Just to let you know, I've never read the manga; I've only watched the anime. Got it? Yay! Also, the segment in italics are actually some lyrics from the song _Still in Love_, by CN BLUE, and they were used as a part of the fanfic and a prompt... I don't own anything! Enjoy!**

I sit on the edge of the lake, gazing blankly at the rippling, sparkling waters. The sun is beginning to set, its rays sending out a beautiful array of color; it seems like a blooming flower from here.

"Yuki-kun?"a voice behind me whispers in a quiet tone. "I know you're hurting. I feel it too. But you can't just stop living like this. Come back home."

I take my head in my hands, clenching my fists, pulling at my dark gray hair. "No. I can't. I can't face her. Leave me alone, Kagura-san." My voice comes out harsh and raspy, dull and emotionless.

"You haven't eaten in three days. Come back, Yuki-kun. I know it hurts. Kyo... Kyo-kun broke my heart too. But I know I have to keep on living,"Kagura murmurs, putting a hand to my shoulder.

Striking out with my hand, I push her away. "Leave me alone!" It's the first time I've ever really yelled like this to anyone, save for my older brother, Ayame.

A single tear trickled down Kagura's cheek. She did as I asked, and left me.

Just as Tohru left me.

…

_My painful love, I'm hurting as if I cut my skin.  
I try to hold it in, but soundlessly, it hurts.  
My aching love, it's bitter as if I swallowed poison-  
I try to smile but I'm faintly aching__._

_I extend my hand to hold you, but at some point, you already left me__._

…

It all started when I'd gathered enough courage to tell Tohru my true feelings.

"Honda-san?"

She'd turned around and smiled at me, a sweet, naïve smile. "Yes, Yuki-kun?"

I had begun to wring my slender hands nervously. "I... Well, I..."

Tohru's eyes lit up, looking over my shoulder. I didn't have to turn around to see who it was.

"Kyo-kun!"she'd said, smiling, walking over to him and giving him a gentle peck on the cheek. "I was going to tell you, Yuki-kun... I truly love Kyo-kun, and... He loves me back..."

I nearly had a seizure. I nearly felt my heart stop. I nearly died. "W-What...?"

She must've seen Kyo's hard expression and my pained, heartbroken one. "Y-Yuki-kun...?"

My heart shattered into a million pieces that day. Sharp shards that even when broken, jabbed, cut, and tore through my soul, wanting to destroy my very being. Every shard of my heart wore a label. Misery. Hurt. Depression. Broken-heartedness.

…

_My painful love, I'm hurting as if I cut my skin.  
I try to hold it in, but soundlessly, it hurts.  
My aching love, it's bitter as if I swallowed poison-  
I try to smile but I'm faintly aching__._

_I extend my hand to hold you, but at some point, you already left me._

…

I'm sitting still, watching the sun cast its final rays over this cruel, painful world. I hear someone walk up behind me again.

"Yuki-kun? Come on, I know you're hurting a lot, but... Just come back home, okay? I'm sure everything will turn out alright."

"Go away, Shigure! I don't need anything anymore! My very existence is irrelevant,"I snarl, dropping to my knees, clutching at the fine grains of the shore's sand.

"But-"

"_Go_!" At this last word, my voice cracks. "Just... Go."

Shigure lets out a long, saddened sigh, and I hear his footsteps fade.

The stars begin to come out. One. Two. Three.

How beautiful they are. They remind me of Tohru. Twinkling, glittering, scintillating, welcoming, hopeful. And yet, so cold and far from my reach. Me, like a single grain of sand, insignificant on this shore, loving and dreaming about a lovely star, who's already in love with another great star in the distant sky. A burning, strong, powerful star. I wished so much that I could be that star. Alas, I'm this small, insignificant grain of sand, lonely amongst others on this lonely beach. I'm a loner.

I try to speak my feelings, to have a voice, to let her know of my suffering, my pain, my loss. Instead, like the fool I am, I hold it all in. Soundlessly. I'm soundlessly hurting.

…

_My painful love, I'm hurting as if I cut my skin.  
I try to hold it in, but soundlessly, it hurts.  
My aching love, it's bitter as if I swallowed poison-  
I try to smile but I'm faintly aching__._

_I extend my hand to hold you, but at some point, you already left me._

…

It felt like I was swallowing poison; Choking, bitter, deadly.

My love had just declared her love to another. My zodiac enemy at that.

I tried to smile then, a single tear trickling down my cheek before I turned into a rat. Perhaps that's my calling. To be that tricky, back-stabbing, arrogant Rat, who tricked the Cat. The Rat has never been punished for his actions. Maybe now is the time.

I'd looked up at the shocked faces Tohru and Kyo, took my clothes in my mouth, and ran. Sprinted. Away, away, away. Away from this nightmare that I could never escape.

I ran, tripping over myself as I transformed yet again. Despite this, I kept running, the rocks and sticks cutting my feet, causing them to bleed. Wind nipped my bare skin ruthlessly, while the branches of the forest whipped at my vulnerable body. Nothing mattered anymore.

Finding myself at the lake wasn't really as surprise to me. I'd slowly put my clothes back on, and collapsed on the lake's shore.

…

_My painful love, I'm hurting as if I cut my skin.  
I try to hold it in, but soundlessly, it hurts.  
My aching love, it's bitter as if I swallowed poison-  
I try to smile but I'm faintly aching__._

_I extend my hand to hold you, but at some point, you already left me._

…

I'm lying here, still, in the sand. Now I know what I must do.

I stand, sand cascading down me like water over rocks. With a rock, I etch a message in shaky handwriting onto another rock. My hand slides across the rough surface of the rock a couple times, and it leaves small blood stains on it. No matter.

_Kyo: I'm sorry. The Rat has always been bad to the Cat, has it not? Maybe I'll make it up to you now. Live happily._

_Shigure: I'll miss you, cousin. Really. Take care of Kyo and Honda-san for me._

_Kagura-san: Please. Do not follow into my footsteps. I beg you. Find someone else, and live out the rest of your life peacefully._

_Ayame: Nii-san, forgive me for being so cold to you... I'm so sorry. Forgive me for doing this... I'm so sorry. I've appreciated every moment I've been with you._

_Hatori: Thank you for keeping a careful eye out for me. Please, take care of Shigure, Ayame, and Honda-san for me... Keep Honda-san safe from Akito-san._

_Haru: Thank you for always being there for me. I'm sorry if I made you sad once and a while and didn't return your feelings. I'm so sorry... Take care of Kyo for me please. Try not to go Black too much. I won't be there anymore to help calm you. I'll always remember the day we first met. You're not a fool._

_Uotani and Hanajima: You've always looked out for Honda-san; please continue to do so. She may not understand at first why I'm gone, but please, help her to not hurt any longer._

_Tohru: I'm so sorry that I had to leave like this. I'm so sorry that I let myself love you. I did love you. I truly did and I still will. I want you to be happy with Kyo. Forget me. When I say good-bye, you may feel sad, but I'm sure that Kyo will ease your pain. He's always been the one that you loved. Loved ones should always know how to comfort you. Perhaps this is why you've always found a way to comfort me. No longer. I'll be gone. Forget me. I've always been insignificant. Live your life with Kyo now. Forget me. I'll miss you. I love you._

…

_My painful love, I'm hurting as if I cut my skin.  
I try to hold it in, but soundlessly, it hurts.  
My aching love, it's bitter as if I swallowed poison-  
I try to smile but I'm faintly aching__._

_I extend my hand to hold you, but at some point, you already left me._

…

My hand bleeding freely now, and I sign my name at the bottom. I place the rock strategically next to the place where I once lay; Kagura and Shigure know. Just to make it more obvious, I tear a sleeve of my navy blue, Chinese-style shirt, and place it under the rock so that it sticks out.

I'm ready.

Slowly, I walk into the lake. It's cold, and reaches my ankles.

The waves lap around me, as if saying, _Join us! Join us! There is no more pain here! No more heartbreak, no more suffering! Join us!_

The water is up to my knees now. It's so cold, wonderfully cold, it's numbing my skin, my thoughts. Water reaches my waist.

I keep walking, never looking back. My chest is submerged.

The cold water feels so good! It's numbing me. Numbing my heart. I cannot feel anything now!

I hear a distant shouting behind me. No matter. This is just the way it should be. No going back.

It feels so good to not feel anything. Now, in the back of my mind, I still hear the shouting, and I register that there is a frantic splashing behind me. I keep walking, never looking back.

The water is so cold. My thoughts, body, heart, and soul are numbed now. It's even better as I go under! I extend my hand out, but she's not there; she left me long ago. I need to be cold, I need to be numbed.

And I am.

In fact, my heart is so numbed, I cannot feel any-

_I extend my hand to hold you, but at some point, you already left me._

__**What do you think?  
**

**I'm so glad that I wrote my first _Fruits Basket _fanfic! I truly enjoyed writing this, although it's a bit sad... **

**As you can tell, I'm a huge YukixTohru fan, even if my fanfic was depressing...  
**

**Reviews? Yes please! I appreciate reviews... A lot!  
**

**- Psychic Prince  
**


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